I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
