I can text with my tongue
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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