I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.