i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
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being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.