Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover