so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.