Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.