there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing