is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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