You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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