Your tits are I can't wait for
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize