508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize