i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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