Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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