OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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