Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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