My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
