At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Mom said you looked used
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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