I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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