I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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