My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
