i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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