no, he came in my armpit
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
