I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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