so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
