If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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