I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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