What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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