So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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