Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
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I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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