i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
