Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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