I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
