they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
