i really wish james franco would like my vagina
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
