I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
