Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
