and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
