This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
