Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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