If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
