Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
this is an emotional support booty call
i think im in europe. pls send help
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
