Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
