honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
