Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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