white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
