She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
