I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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