i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize