We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
