First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Houston, we have a squirter
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
