check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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