dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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