That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
