so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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