someone threw a dead crab at me
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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