that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
