There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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