Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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